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Ode To Your Mom

Modeled after Shakespeare's "Sonnet 18".

Shall I compare thee to the ocean blue?

Thou art more girthy and more loathsome.

The sea hoards warmth in the air ever true

And to its heat flocks of seagulls succumb.

Past its bound’ries the water cannot flow;

So clear a shore, a catcher in the rye.

Her fairness and wisdom we ne’er can know

For her eternal brandish cannot lie.

But forever cold of the heart are thee

And thy massive back side knows no border.

Gelatinous of the insight are ye

For brains are not offered through mail order.

So long as men can breathe or eyes can see

I am doing none of that for a while, but that's for a different and more personal blog.  Right now I'm going to talk about my newest little gift in the family, K---- W----.  See?  "It" has a name.  Everybody always refers to "it" as "the baby".  I dislike that.  Babies are just people in a different stage of life.  I would never say "the aunt".  I would never say "the middleaged woman".  I say Aunt B----- or Aunt S-----.  So why disassociate a person from their name?  And have you noticed the phrase generally isn't used once the baby (used in context, lol) has grown and is no longer an infant?  You never say "where's the five year old."  In my family, I know why they nealry always say "the baby".  K---- was born to parents who are Freshman in College.  The family was devistated.  Which is understandable, AT FIRST.  I don't think they're as attached as they would be if Z----- and K----- were married.  But you know, babies are blessings, period.  After at least month six you need to get over HOW the baby's getting here, and just be damn excited its coming.  This is coming from a biased teenger, who hasn't had any life experience whatsoever and yearns deep down to be a Mommy.  So I'm not saying that my words are 100% true...but they have to have some truth or else this is going to be one miserable affair, damnit.  I think a lot of things are blessings...it just depends on how you look at them.

I now have big, fluffy pillows...two of them to be exact, which will make it easier when Jonathan comes. We normally share a body pillow and he ends up with a lot of it sometimes, haha.  So I laid down to read Slaughter-House-Five and woke up three hours later, lol.  That's how epically comfy those pillows are.
By the way, I'm going to marry and make love to Vonnegut one day.  I do not worry about certain slight complications (mainly the dead thing) for I find these are ones I can overcome.  As he would say about this situation..."So it goes." 

So about a week before Halloween Jon, the boyfriend, and I were shopping in Morgantown and having a good old time.  It had been raining a little all day but it wasn't anything to worry about, or so we thought.  Driving home on Morgantown Road (for those of you who know what that is, *cough, cough* Fugu), coming around the last turn on Black Mountain the car started sliding...then started sliding sideways putting us in the other lane, when the tire hit the gravel and flipped us.  Yeah...I dangled by my seatbelt for what seemed like a minute but I'm pretty sure as soon as we stopped sliding (upsidedown) Jonathan yelled for me.  He asked first if I was ok and then yelled to get out.  My door wouldn't open so I just crawled through my broken window.  I landed myself with some good scars on my knees.  Yikes.  They're hideous.  So w/in seconds we managed to flag down a car.  I tell you...those people were ANGELS.  They gave us blankets, called an ambulance, talked to us, called our parents.  They were angels...there is no other way to describe them.  The hospital visit though...CHRIST...it was terrible.  For one, they strapped us down for hours...and my head was stuck right on a piece of glass that nobody would remove.  In fact, I removed all my own glass because nobody removed it even by the time they were releasing us.  So I just threw it on the floor...bastards, lol.  Now I know you probably think that we were going fast, but we were going anywhere between 35-50 mph around that curve...which isn't bad.  The cop told me that night, while I was strapped to the trauma room table crying that if either of us weren't wearing our seatbelts that we would've broken our necks.  Bastard.  I had a panic attack and passed out.  Then we later found out that about ten minutes after we wrecked somebody else had the same type of accident about twenty feet from us.  A week later, somebody else, going much faster, did it in the same place.  They, however, were in ICU.  So since then I've been terrified of cars...demanding that we go between 35 and 45 miles an hour, almost everywhere, lol.  I have several panic attacks while in cars almost everyday and often feel myself begin to pass out, lol.  Life...because travel is such a big part of it...is hell, lol.  In addition, my surgery wasn't fully healed when we wrecked so I'm now having problems with my back.  But I don't tell Jonathan how badly I'm hurting cause he feels responsible for the wreck.  Poor dear.  Anywho...I'm sorry I'm so damn long winded and ill spoken.  Thanks for reading. :)  I needed to get that off my chest, I think.

I shall be gone til Sunday, dearests.  I'm going camping with Daddy, Ange (the girlfriend), Jon and the boys.  Should be quite an experience, lol.  I'll try to get some interesting pictures.
Oh, and I got my class ring today.  Tis fucking shiny.  I want to make love to it.
Well, its 11:30 and I have to be packed and ready by 1:30-2 o'clock.  I procrastinate way too much.
I love you all and I'll see you Sunday.

So while I was upstairs in my underwear, I was applying the Lavender dye to my hair when I heard a furious knock at the door, lol.  It actually scared me a little.  They were pretty persistent.  So I put some pants on w/ one hand and went downstairs...purple hair in gloved hand.  There were two woman w/ a little girl holding a dandelion.  They looked like Christians but I figured I'd listen anyway.  They said something about Global Warming and showed me a few pamphlets, one of which was headed "Jehovah's Witnesses Watch Tower".  They talked about how God would transform the Earth into a paradise and all that bullshit. Well, I told them I wasn't interested.  They asked me why.  I told them I hated their religion and I hated their God and that my best friend's father killed myself because of them.  The woman knew who I was talking about and said "Yes...that was an awful tragedy."  Tragedy?!?!  You cunt.  You disowned them...you and your Christ clones disfellowshipped them because their father killed himself.  But anyway, they were persistent still, asking if I believed in God.  When I said I could never believe in anything that allowed genocide, rape and disease in it's world she goes "Look around, surely you must believe there is some sort of higher power."  Yeah, she's right...but its not "God".  Maybe there is something...or maybe this is just a cosmic accident.  We grew up here...how could we think its anything but beautiful?  I mean...duh...lol.  So I stopped her.  Looked down at that pretty little girl in the sun dress and yearned for her to break free...then I looked up at them, told them their God was an ass, said thank you and shut the door.